Friday, March 14, 2008

Herewith resigning from the Human race

I, Sam Winston, of sane mind and sound body, do herewith resign from the human race.
I am starting my own species, and it's open to anyone who would like to join.
My race has:
No color
No race
No religion
No offical language or nationality
There are only a few criteria - although I don't want a list of rules.
But to be in this new race, you have to accept that violence is unacceptable and that problems have to be solved by diplomacy. You also have to accept that everyone is born equal, even the so called 'handicapped'. There are no handicapped in my new race.
I haven't decided what to call my new species yet, because I just resigned from the human race, and I haven't really gotten around to defining what I have become.
Suffice to say, it's not human. Humans have made the floozy who slept with the ex. gov. of NY the top search on Yahoo. When I saw that, I decided that humans and I have very different priorities.
I think it's really a question of getting priorities straight.


Travis Erwin said...

I would join but then I wouldn't be able to use the excuse, "But I'm only human" anymore.

Sam said...


And it's a good excuse.


Gabriele C. said...

I can't find that floozy because I don't know her name. :)

Which shows how much the average German cares about the sex life of politicians, ours or American ones. When one of our ministers got caught with a mistress, the reaction was mostly along the lines, and why does his wife not throw him out and get a divorce that will dry his purse real good.

Or look at your French président. His wife is on her fourth husband or so, and he's not a paragon of virtue, either. Imagine he'd stood as candidate in the US. ;)

Kate R said...

the language thing might be trouble for me. I have a hard enough time finding words when I'm allegedly fluent in my native tongue.

Can we do something about your dress-code? I spent hours trying to explain to my boys (all three of them at different times--all about age 2) why they'd get mocked if they wore dresses or dangly earrings.

Lyn Cash said...

I speak great ugh-a-mese, so lack of a language doesn't bug me. Clothes? What clothes? I rarely wear anything anyway.

I do insist on Starbucks or some equivalent to be at close range. If that's acceptable.

Jennifer said...

You can speak whatever language you want, and wear whatever you want, and eat whatever you want - Lynn and Kate!

And yes, Gabriele, your reaction made much more sense!

Lyn - Starbucks is fine. BUt you have to say "Paris Hilton Who?"

Rosie said...

It's sad when the 'tart' makes the headlines and the real news of the sex ring and the bus tours hardly creates a ripple. I didn't google...I promise...but my AOL headline said, "...doesn't want people to think badly of her." Puh-leez! Ooops. Am I banned from the new race now?

Jennifer said...

Hi Rosie -
You're quite welcome!

Bernita said...

If someone attacks my child, I'm not going to eschew violence.

John Nez said...

I'd guess it's the Puritan soul of America, secretly fascinated with the 'witch' who bewitched the governor.

Only these days she doesn't wind up being burned or having the red letter 'A' sewn to her dress. These days she gets her own game show and appears on 'American Idol'.