Thursday, May 04, 2006

A sad story, a truck, and a little old lady.

I was over at Dakota's blog and read the saddest story - it was so sad I coldn't even post a comment. But I really sympathised about the main rant she was ranting about (the sad story was back story) - she was ranting about people asking for money (for worthy causes) aggressively and in the wrong place. And I have to admit, there is a time and a place for everything.

One day, for example, I was in an automobile accident (nothing serious) and I parked in a church parking lot to get the insurance straightened out with the truck that hit me (he'd already tried to drive away but I literally jumped out of my car and stood in front of him - so I was mucho upsetto.) And while he's screaming at me, and I'm writing his license-plate number down and every other number and address I could see on the truck because he's not getting out of the cab, this poor little old lady comes over from the church and shoves a wooden box under my nose and says, "Give to the Poor!"

I'm not hard-hearted. I'm one of those people who give money to every begger she sees, I pick up hitch hikers, I send checks to the Red Cross, the Hurricane fund, the tidal wave name it. But a truck had just broadsided me and had tried to run away, and I was fuming. The driver was telling me it wasn't his fault - he hadn't seen me and didn't know he'd even hit me (he was switching lanes when he shouldn't have been, the idiot) my cousin and daughter were in the car - my daughter (6) was hysterically crying. My door and window were a crumpled mess, my hand was cut where the window had exploded and I'd put my hand up instinctively...and this lady was shaking a box under my nose and asking me to give to the poor. I said "Lady, not right now," ...and she started to argue with me!

I think she must still be praying for my soul. I have never, ever sworn at a little old lady, but I did this time. (I can't even write what I told her, I'm too ashamed. Let's just say it involved the box and would have been extremely painful...)
My daughter stopped crying to hear what I was saying, my cousin, whose father is in the army, turned bright red, and after that the truck driver meekly got out of his cab and gave me his license to copy.

So let this be a lesson to you - if you have to collect money, don't do it to someone who's just been in a car accident and whose temper may be a just teeny bit frayed.


December Quinn said...

LOL I'll remember that.

Gabriele C. said...

Roflol. You must really have impressed the driver, for him to come out of the car.

I'll remember that. When dealing with truck drivers, come up with the most colourful vocabular any of your pirate characters would use. :)

Andrea said...

Glad to see that at least your keeping up this blog...Your stories!...I tell you do that book we've been talking about...I could totally picture you with the old lady! poor soul!

International-Man-Of-Mystery said...

Years ago, I worked for our local police department. A lowly position, not as an officer, but at least I got to carry a gun. I was also going through my "I want to be a Biker even though I don't own a motorcycle" phase. So one day I'm coming back from target practice down at the range and, as it was an off-day, I was wearing my wannabe-Biker regalia: skull cap, sleeveless T-shirt and vest, biker boots. The shirt revealed several of my tattooes. Anyway, I stop at a local restaurant to get lunch, and when I come back out, my car won't start.

So picture a tattooed guy in Biker regalia, bending under the hood of his car, with a 9MM sticking out from the back of his pants. Loaded, no less. And I'm cussing a blue streak because my car won't work. And the next thing I know, this little lady (she wasn't very old)is trying to hand me some Jehovah's Witnesses literature!

Now I might know that I'm really a gentle soul, but to this woman I'm a total stranger. So she only sees a pseudo-Biker, obviously in a bad mood, with a flippin' GUN stickin' out of his pants. And she tries to give him literature.

I'll say this much for the Jehovah's Witnesses. I admire their dedication.

Doug Hoffman said...

Yup, the driver must have thought, "She just ripped that kindly old lady a new one -- what does she have planned for me?"

Sam, at that moment, I think you'd have made Bambi cry.

Sam said...

Wayne - that is hysterical - You're right - they are dedicated!
Doug - Only if Bambi was asking me for money, lol.
Andrea - I know - I've been so bad - but it's because of the weather. I can't stay inside when it's nice out!

Bernita said...

Sam, I salute you.
The bad manners were hers, after you decined, and she deserved an explicit version of "don't shake your box at me, madame."
Hardly a sweet little old lady, with blood and shattered glass and frightened children in plain sight - a numbnuts rather.
Poor soul, me ass - a total idiot.

Gabriele C. said...

The only way to get rid of JWs is to tell them that if Heaven is stuffed with bores like them, you'll prefer Hell.

And no, ringing the door bell on a Sunday at 8am when I have been in FM Writer's chat until 6am, is not a good idea.

They never came back. ;)

Dakota Cassidy said...

Good heavens...I don't know what else to say, cookie. For shame on her.

Dakota :)

Daisy Dexter Dobbs said...

Oh, Sam, I haven’t even finished my first cup of coffee and you already have me snorting with laughter!

This brought to mind your fabulous story about the time you gave that survey-taking guy in the grocery store what-for. LOL

Moral--do NOT, under any circumstances, ever make the mistake of messing with Ms. Samantha Winston, no matter how sweet and innocent she looks! ;-)

Sam said...

But I YAM sweet and innocent!