Here's how it works:
Person 1 makes a wish
Person 2 grants it, with a hilariously unpleasant twist, then makes a wish of his/her own.
The next person then corrupts THAT wish, and makes his own wish, and so on.
Like so:
Person 1: I wish I had a Maserati.
Person 2: Your wish is granted! You have a Maserati. By Matchbox.
I wish I could fly.
Person 3: Your wish is granted! You can fly! You just can't land.
I wish every day was Christmas Eve.
Person 4: Your wish is granted! Every day IS Christmas Eve--and you're in retail.
etc.
I'll go first.
I wish I was on vacation.
(play in comments section)
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44 comments:
I wish I was on vacation.
You ARE on vacation and you spend half of it stuck at the airport due to a blizzard.
I wish I was on a NY Times bestseller list.
You ARE on the NY Times bestseller list-but somehow soemone below you on the list fudged with their figures somehow, and so the list is incorrect, and everyine thinks you're the one who messed with the numbers and you're professionally disgraced.
(Or, you know, you are on the list, but your name is James Frey.)
I wish I had a million dollars.
You have all the books you want, but you've nowhere to store them or place them.
I wish I could come up with a cure for cancer.
You discovered the cure for cancer, but a big pharmaceutical company sued you for patent infringement and you're tied up in court and lawyer's fees for ten years.
I wish the person I'm in love with was in love with me.
The person you're in love with IS in love with you, but he turns out to be married!
I wish I could write faster.
You CAN write faster but you have no paper and your computer just broke.
I wish my life was more exciting.
Your wish is granted! Your life is very exciting ever since you were kidnapped by aliens and taken to planet Zorkkle-Nine-heenie.
I wish I could dance really well.
You've just been chosen to Dance with the Stars. (Don't worry, you don't really have two left feet)
I wish I was still on a tropical sandy beach under the palm trees.
You're still on a tropical island, in fact, you're marrooned there!
I wish that there were no more wars...
There are no more wars, but it doesn't matter- global warming wipes out the earth anway. (Sorry that was a little TOO dark!)
I wish I could stop loving the person who doesn't love me back!
Your wish is grant...but now you dont love that person anymore, but that person has started loving you!
I wish my tea was warmer
Your tea is warmer. Too bad you just spilled it in your crotch.
I wish I had a pony.
Your wish is granted, but you`ve no paddock or stable to keep it in.
I wish I was artistic and could draw
You can draw! But you're cursed with the power that all of your drawings come true, and now the FBI, CIA, and mafia are after you.
I wish my wife was a nymphomaniac AND only had eyes for me (hey, i don't want to make this too easy!)
You can draw, but while sketching a man in a bar in Paris, you fall hopelessly in love with him and he doesn't return the feeling! (True story, exactly what I was referring to previously!)
I wish I didn't have to work today.
For Doug -
Your wish is granted! Your wife is a nymphomaniac and only has eyes for you - but she has hands, lips, and the hots for everyone else!
Jenny - you don't have to work today because you got Fired! Oh no!
I wish that I had a maid!
Your maid is too efficient. By which I mean she's lazy, and a pyromaniac. So she burns down your house rather than clean it. But she still expects a paycheque.
I wish the sun would come out.
The sun does come out and you get seven straight days of 107 degree temps (puts the "ick" in sticky!)
I wish I could sing.
You can sing but now you have a fruitcake of a stalker who wants you to sing only to him. And his favorite song is Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree.
I wish I didn't have to buy new tires for the car.
You don't have to buy tires for the car, because the car was totalled when someone rear-ended you.
I wish I had more time to write.
(OK, "kvogmhqr" is just excessive as a word verif.)
You do have more time to write, thanks to that time warp you fell into; now the rest of the world seems to move at 1/100 normal time! You're getting lots done now, but it is rather lonely.
I wish I were Clive Owen.
You are now Clive Owen!
Since there are approximately 675 Clive Owens on the planet right now, you are a little bit of each of them, unfortunately your head belongs to Clive Owen living in Brooklyn Heights working as a janitor for the local Old folks Home.
I wish I were ten years younger!
You are 10 years younger. You have a date tonight with the hottest boy in the school and you are absolutely convinced that the zit on your nose is bigger than your nose itself.
I wish I was the lead singer of a hugely successful and critically acclaimed rock group.
Your wish is granted! You are the lead singer of a hugely successful and critically acclaimed rock group, except your last album just tanked, you're addicted to heroin, and you've just been arrested for trashing a hotel room.
I wish my freelance assignment would hurry up and get here today.
You are the lead singer of a hugely popular rock group! Only you're addicted to heroin, and you are too zonked out to enjoy the adulation and critical respect you are getting!
I wish I were Keira Knightly!
For Kris:
Your assignment arrives, but the dog jumps on it and eats it before you can read it! Oh no, what a ame excuse - do you dare call your agent?
For Chey:
You're on the New York Times Best Seller list - like all posthumous books, yours did really well! If only you were there to enjoy the sucess of your intimate diary that your husband found and had published after your tragic death in the chocolate factory!
I wish this game could go on forever...
Your wish is granted. This game will go on forever, but you must give up your writing career and all hobbies in order to monitor this page full-time for the rest of your natural life.
I wish I was drinking pina coladas on a beach in Aruba.
You are there, drinking and having fun in Aruba, unfortunately your name is Natalie [tacky? yes, I'd say so.]
I have to go on a 3rd grade field trip in a park and I wish the weather was better.
The weather got better, but the trip was cancelled because of the bad weather forecast.
I wish the dishes would wash themselves
Your wish is granted! The dishes wash themselves. In the toilet bowl!
I wish I had the body of a playmate!
You do have the body of a playmate, only it was the playmate you used to call Fat Albert.
I wish for a hot romance.
Your wish is granted! - but each time you pull out a 20$ bill from your pocket, your bank-account debits you 80$ because of the high cost of pocket gnomes.
I wish I had two cars
Your wish is granted! You have a maid and a cook, but neither of them can do their job and you just signed a seven year contract for their services!
I wish I had thought of this game.
Your wish is granted! You thought of this game but you can't think of anything else! At all!
I wish I could be a mermaid for a day!
Your wish is granted! Your kids will obey you! On alternate Tuesdays.
I wish I was Queen of The Universe!
You are Queen of the Universe. Only your husband, the King of the Universe, is a smelly, beer-swilling, nose-picking jerk!
I wish I had a million dollars.
Your wish is granted! You have a million dollars! In Confederate War Bonds!
I wish every man in the world loved me BEST!
You come up with 20,000 more words, but they're all the same word, "splunge."
I wish my house was always clean (yet comfortable and welcoming too!)
your frontdoor lock is broken. comforting and welcoming to all lazy burglars in the area.
I wish my blog was as popular as Miss Snark's
Your wish has been granted - Miss Snark gets 10,000 hits a day from literature buffs - your blog gets 20,000 hits a day from 'free daily prayer' groups intent on saving your soul and converting you to Bushism.
I wish I had won Miss Snark's contest
you did win the contest -- and now your name is Stephen and your husband is rather upset and your kids won't get in the car with you.
LOL!!!!
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