Monday, June 13, 2005

More about love and sex

I just read a post by a well-meaning romance author. Sure sex is all right (she reasures us) but romance is all about love, and love is bigger than sex. (she goes on to say).
And all the poster-people after her hurry to agree that yes, love is not sex, and that their idea of love is (one person's words here) "a child bringing flowers to her mother".
I guess it's time I spoke up. Romance books are fine without sex. They are fine with sex. It makes no difference to me, as long as I know what I'm getting when I buy it. But to say that romance books don't NEED sex is absurd.
Love and sex go together when it's about a couple - and a romance book isn't about mother-love, or sister-brother love. And even if love is bigger than sex (agreed, agreed!) sex is a pretty darn important part of a relationship - and a healthy, loving relationship with great sex is far better than a loving relationship with terrible sex, or having one partner afraid of sex, or hung up about sex, or having been molested unable to equate sex and love. So, maybe romance books with sex can have their place too - a place to express the wonder and excitement of sex. A celebration of sex. It's about time human beings loosened up about sex and equated it with love and romance, don't you think?


Wynn Bexton said...

Hi Sam, I'm still in Athens and finally have time to log on to your site. I agree with you. The Greeks had 3 words for 'love', one for the love of a mother/child; one for unconditional love of friend/friend/ and one for 'eromenos', the sexual kind of relationship. To me, a man/woman rel. contains sex otherwise it's platonic "agapi" and that's okay but not for a 'romance' story. My novel doesn't have many opportunities for erotic scenes but I've used them whenever there was a chance and I think it adds another dimension to the characters and their relationships.

Have you been able to read my travel blog?

Sam said...

Yes, I stop by and read it quite often! I love your posts!!!